Wednesday, 5 October 2011

Weird Wednesday Woo: "The Belly Dancer is a Sexy Spy"


Are you sitting comfortably? Good. Then I’ll begin.

Honestly, I wasn’t going to post this. Really, really, wasn’t. But the more time that went by, the more I thought about this clip, the more it became clear to me that I HAD to post this. Because it blew my freakin’ mind. I’m serious.

There’s a lot to waggle your eyebrows at here. Off the top of my head, I’m going to list my top head-scratchers as:

1. Why didn’t the costumier bother finishing the decoration on the dancer’s bra, or give her the rest of the front of her skirt?
2. How did this Marco Polo character convince so many people to partake in his peculiar form of egocentric madness?
3. The fact that this exists at all.

There’s no plot to speak of here – as far as I can tell, this is one episode in the ‘Crime Jazz’ series called The Spy from the Ghetto – produced by, directed by, written by and starring some geezer calling himself ‘Marco Polo’. It has its good points: The music is actually pretty cool, and the performances are unintentionally hilarious. At least, I don’t think they’re meant to be hilarious – as this write-up on Marco Polo’s YouTube channel proves, he himself is deadly serious.

I don’t know what else to say. It’s entitled The Belly Dancer is a Sexy Spy, but the dancer isn’t credited even though almost eight minutes are devoted to showing her dancing in various leery close-ups. Just before the eight-minute mark, the blonde woman at the bar lets go with what may be the greatest noise ever made by a human and recorded for posterity. The bartender doesn’t seem to think it weird that, in the middle of the day, the only people in his joint are four shifty characters – one of whom is obviously armed – and a belly dancer performing in front of a silver mannequin in a red scarf. And there’s no way that the tattooed woman is from Prague, unless there’s a Prague somewhere in New York. Other than that, please fix yourself a nice stiff drink or take several deep breaths before hitting ‘play’:

Your thoughts, please. Please.


  1. "Score by"? It's a remix of *mumblemumble* that thing from that Tarantino movie?

    Nice moves, although my thighs are clenched on her behalf looking at that thin scrap of fabric. Beware the wind machine!

  2. Tittttsssss! Sorry, that's all I could think to add.

  3. Ah - yes Hula UK, you're quite right: the music is 'Hankerin' by Sugarman 3 (1998):

    And thank you for that Rae, REAL mature. :) But maybe the lack of decoration on the back of the bra could be explained if the designer just didn't budget for tatas that size and ran out of beading.

  4. Girl's got skillz! Can't say the same thing to the other actors or the director (or the script writer, if that thing was actually written) for that matter.

  5. I do like the bit where her veil gets caught on the curtain, but it would've been good to hear what she was 'actually' dancing to.