Tuesday, 18 October 2011

You look like you need a hug

Well, hi there hot stuff! How is Your Royal Gorgeousness doing today?

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. It isn't right that someone as fantabbadosious as you should be in the dumps. Have a cookie ... hm? You've got no appetite and you don't feel like you 'deserve' a treat?

Ah. I see. Someone looks like they need a cuddle. Come back. COME BACK.
Sri Lanka the Belly Dancer
Now, don't you feel better? Aw, geddoffit. You do NOT feel 'skeevy, sick and wrong' just from looking at this. That's just your grumps talking. I mean, sure "Sri Lanka" is a totally inapt name for a teddy bear in a barely-there raks outfit, but that ain't no thing. After all, she can be yours for only $250 dollars! Yes, US dollars - a honey like this doesn't change hands for Belizean dollars, you know.

Of course you want to buy her. Yes, you do. Sure, $250 would buy you a decent bra and belt set, or maybe buy your groceries for a month, but you'd be a total moron - fabulous though you are - to pass this opportunity up. It's not a very nice thing to have to admit, but I will judge you for it if you don't buy this RIGHT NOW.

Now spank my butt and call me Betty - how stupid of me to forget! Of course Sri Lanka is not your cup of tea! You love cheesecake-style costumes! In that case, have you got £35?

Since when do you NOT love cheesecake-style costumes? Fine. How about a Rachel Brice-inspired bear?

No? Actually, you know what? Take this cookie anyway and stick it. I'm done trying to sell you stupid shit cheer you up.

The Raqasa x


  1. Not gonna lie, I do kind of like cheesecake bear!

    'Sri Lanka', however, needs to be killed with fire, then a herd of wild horses stampeded over the spot where it was burnt, just in case someone wants to find the remains and reanimate it.

  2. NOOO ahahahaha... Sri Lanka is rather cute, albeit skirtless.

  3. Thank you Lilith for making me laugh like a spacehog. The scariest thing about Sri Lanka is that she is posable - yes, POSABLE - and that particular stance you see her holding in this post is the "hip drop": ergo, someone who knew a modicum about belly dancing was involved in her creation and still didn't bother giving her a skirt. Augh!